50 Reasons Why I, Poseidon, Am Better than Athena
by Silvershine Moonlight
Summary: Our favorite hero's father goes on his rant about how he's better than Athena. You know you want to read it. ;P Plz R&R! [One-Shot] [COMPLETE]


**Me: HI EVERYONE! PLZ ENJOY THIS! ;) Reviews are ALWAYS welcome. ^ ^**

**50 Reasons Why I Am Better than Athena**

To whoever is reading this:

I have purposely written down this note so that you know 50 reasons why I am better than that brainiac goddess. It would please me greatly if you respect these reasons and pass it on. Thank you. And now I must write down my list and- OOOOOOOO! GOLDFISH CRACKERS! Never mind! Anyways, thank you.

~Lord Poseidon

1. First of all, I'm _Poseidon._ The god of the sea, earthquakes, and everything awesome.

2. Athena is a mere _girl_, not even one of the Big Three. _I_, on the other hand, am one of them. Not to mention that my powers are more jaw dropping than my brothers…*Owl poop falls on Poseidon's head, lightning strikes, and shadows seem to grow larger*

3. I am awesome.

4. Water is cooler than brains.

5. I wouldn't have named the city of Athens…_Athens_. Excuse me as I wash my mouth. *Brush brush*I would have named it…um…er…AH! POSEIDON-LAND! Take that Athens!

4. Never mind, I would've named it Poseidon-topia.

5. My son is a better swordfighter than Athena's daughter.

6. Is that really a reason?

7. Never mind.

8. I have more power than Athena will EVER have.

9. My waves are awed and feared by everyone.

10. More people prefer water sports and surfing than studying.

11. My waves are just _MAGESTIC_.

12. Anyone knows that dolphins are FAAAAAAAAAR more fascinating and adorable than owls.

13. And that sharks are cooler.

14. Not to mention the giant squids and great whales…

15. People made 'dumb blonde jokes' because of her.

16. Poseidon is a much cooler name than Athena.

17. Hawaii beaches are much more attractive than libraries. Duh.

18. I HAVE A TRIDENT!

19. Owls are pathetic.

20. She is a GEEK.

21. Four-Eyes.

22. Bookworm.

23. Then again she doesn't wear glasses…

24. Her children are born in the most GRUESOME way!

25. It's not NATURAL!

26. She doesn't care about sea life. D;

27. She's an IDIOT!

28. Well, not exactly.

29. She talks in weird way. Example:

Apollo: I wonder why people don't just worship me…

Athena: Because you are an idiot. Therefore, human beings are not stupid enough to worship the likes of you.

Apollo: Whaaaaaa?

SEE?!

30. She acts like a know it all. I don't. I'm humble, and good natured. That's why Percy takes after me.

31. I don't understand how that's a bad thing.

32. I can dance better than her!

33. She dresses in _robes_, which is 'sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo last millennium!' as Aphrodite puts it.

34. I wear beach shorts. I know, I know, really, I hear the compliments you're about to say.

35. I am the kindest of the Big Three. You don't see going like a homeless person sulking around and you don't see me making clouds for fun.

36. I am the next big thing besides…who were those daughters of Aphrodite screaming about? Bustin Jieber? Oh yes, JUSTIN BEIBER! I am the BIGGEST thing besides Justin Beiber in the mortal world.

37. Athena is a nobody.

38. EVERYONE likes a good surfer.

39. War horses are cooler than olive trees.

40. Athena likes reading Shakespeare stuff. But I read COMIC BOOKS!

41. They made a song about my realm. I have it as my ringtone on my iPhone.

_UNDA DA SEA! WHERE IT IS AWESOMER,_

_UNDA DA WATA,_

_UNDA DA SEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!_

Ha.

42. Green eyes are more attractive than grey ones.

43. The only people who like Athena are her children. I am very popular with the campers.

I think.

44. I speak modern language.

45. I have an only child.

46. I wonder why I said that…

47. I am cool, awesome, handsome, and everyone's dream.

48. My commander in battle is a dolphin.

49. I ROCK AND RULE!

And are you ready for number 50?

Are YOU?

Well here it is:

50. I am the GREEK GANGNAM STYLE!

This logically proves that I am much better than Owl Addict. I know, I know. Percy gets his smart-ness from me!

**Okay, I changed this a bit because thanks to a lovely fan-fiction-er, 'catspat31' who told me this didn't really count as a story so Fanfiction might take it off, so: THANK YOU CATSPAT31! That is all. Same will be done to the sequel to this.**

**This was fun..tell me what was your favorit?! Mine was 12, 18, 19, 41, and 50! PLZ R&R! ^ ^**


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